The Protocol Is the Backup Plan, Not the Norm
Or, why you should make exceptions whenever you can
đ Hey there! Welcome to a new edition of The Sunday Wisdom! My name is Abhishek. I read a lot of books, think a lot of things, and this is where I dump my notes and (so called) learnings.
I mostly write to educate my future self, but if you like what you read here, I would say this hobby of mine just became a bit more purposeful. Now⌠time for the mandatory plug!
Last week I mentioned that Iâm travelling to France and Spain this month with my partner. Thanks to all of you who suggested places and restaurants to visit. Iâm humbled that some of you want to meet us in person and even host us at your place. This is one of the joys of writing for me â being able to connect with so many souls around the world. I couldnât be more happy!
On to this weekâs essay!
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Q: How strongly should we adhere to rules?
Today, letâs talk about the rules we follow. More precisely, letâs talk about when should we NOT follow the rules. Is there any benefit to it? Are there any risks? Is there a framework we can use? Letâs find out!
I was in Kolkata for the last two weeks. While boarding my flight back to Bengaluru last Thursday, I found that the weight of my checked luggage was slightly over the limit. 800g more to be precise. The person in charge asked me to pay a fee for the difference. I didnât want to pay âš250 ($3.2) for 800g â it was too much!
I asked if she could make an exception. I insisted. After considering it for a few of seconds, she relented. I walked away a happy customer.
I wouldnât have thought anything of it, but I had about an hour to kill before boarding the flight (perhaps I went there too early) and there was no Wi-Fi. I started thinking.
I realised the person in charge âmade an exceptionâ even though she didnât have to. Interestingly, even I had made an exception. The rule says I should pay up if I cross the maximum weight limit. I made an exception by asking her to make an exception.
By the time I was ready to board the plane, I came to an interesting realisation.
This thing we call life is made up of systems that follow certain rules that were created by people no smarter than you and I. We might feel that the rules are rigid, but often they arenât. They can be massaged and tweaked. We can poke around and change things to our advantage.
Itâs easier to understand this idea if you think of the rules as a set of guidelines to follow when you are lost. It doesnât in anyway mean that you have to follow them all the time.
The unsaid rule â rather, the most important rule â is that you are allowed to make exceptions. In fact, you should make exceptions whenever you can!
Following rules is insurance. The protocol is the backup plan. Not the norm. The norm is the exception. When you follow a rule, you adhere to an established authority. You give up control. When you make an exception, you take back control.
The popular joke/meme âI asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgivenessâ has some truth in it.
Asking god for a bike is the norm. Itâs the rule â the protocol. Everybody does it but nobody is getting any bikes. But if you really want a bike, you have to break the rule and take control.
My purpose isnât to justify stealing, but to make a point that following rules may not get you what you want.
Exceptions get things done. Simply asking someone for something is the rule, but pestering or cajoling is the exception, and not everyone is motivated or comfortable doing it. But, it gets shit done.
On the other hand, following the protocol gives you an excuse (instead of giving results). You can later use this âexcuseâ to justify why things didnât turn out the way you had intended.
Nobody would blame you for following the rules, just like nobody would blame you for praying to god for a bike. But you arenât getting any bike by following the rules, thatâs for sure.
If you want excuse, follow the protocol. If you want outcome, make an exception.
Strong relationships are made of exceptions. Like Michael Corleone says in The Godfather, âFredo, youâre my older brother and I love you. But donât ever take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever!â
You can say whatever you want in public, you can feel whatever you want to feel in person, but within a family, all bets are off. You have to make exceptions. Even if one of your cousins is the black sheep of the family, you still do whatever you can to get them up on their feet. You donât abandon them. You donât fire them. You try to help them even if thereâs almost no hope.
Similarly, you make exceptions with friends. You give them extra leeway when they make mistakes. You tolerate a friendâs mistakes, misjudgements, misgivings more than others.
Even at work, exception is the norm. You canât simply say, âI instructed him but he didnât follow through,â when your direct report screws up. You have to do the extra work. You have to take ownership of the situation. You have to train them, make sure they understand what is expected of them. You have to motivate them but also keep them accountable â thereâs no rulebook for that.
As a leader, you cannot simply punish someone for not following the rules. You arenât a tyrant. You have to weigh the pros and cons. What message does it send to others? Does it demotivate the person? Does it help you achieve your longterm goals?
You cannot simply give an instruction and expect everything to get done as they should. People donât work like that. People are complex animals. They need to be reminded, motivated, pushed, and punished â and the decision changes based on who the person and what the context, mindset, or goal is.
Thereâs no fixed rule, only exceptions.
When rules are designed, we are seldom aware of all the possible scenarios. When a situation arises you can tell intuitively if a rule makes sense or not. You arenât a machine to blindly follow the algorithm despite your misgivings.
You have to assess the situation and make a judgement call every time you come across a crossroad â do I follow the rule or do I make an exception? Thereâs no one answer.
My flight to Bengaluru was empty, not a lot of passengers were onboard. Had it been a packed flight (with many passengersâ luggages going above the weight limit) maybe the person in charge wouldnât have relented to forgo the additional fee. Different context, different outcome. But you cannot know that until you make an exception.
Donât follow rules blindly. Follow rules, yes, but also look at the cost/benefit ratio. What is the cost of following the rule? Is there any longterm or short term benefit of making an exception? Is there a price to pay? Is it too high? Is it worth it? Do I want it?
Where there is leverage, there are no rules. For example, thereâs no rulebook to start a company, to grow a company, or to run a company. There are various schools of thoughts, some of which actually work, but nothing is set in stone.
Thereâs no absolute truth. Everything is an exception. Every rule that works for now is waiting to be disrupted.
No revolution happened by following the rules. No discoveries were made by following the rules. No regimes, governments, dictators, tyrants were overthrown by following the rules. No businesses were built and discoveries were made by following the rules. No dreams were realised by following the rules. No human progress was made by following the rules.
We need rules to run stable societies, but we also need to break them to build newer and better societies. Thereâs always some tension between the two and thereâs no formula to make the right call. Each situation needs to be assessed individually. Even so, the bottom line always remains the same.
Donât follow the rules blindly, always assess the situation, and if necessary, make an exception.
Timeless Insight
If you are a designer, it would be very hard for you to be among the top 1% of designers in the world. Itâs not impossible, but itâs very hard.
What you can aim for is becoming very good (top 25%) at two or more complimentary things. Suppose you are a designer. But you can also double up as a marketing manager, or a developer, or a teacher. This combination would make you very unique. Now you are both rare, and valuable.
For example, Arnold Schwarzenegger was huge, had a heavy build, and a thick Austrian accent when he ventured into Hollywood. This made him unique. If there was no Arnold, James Cameron would have had to build one for the role of The Terminator. Arnold also had a good sense of humour. This made him one of the very few action stars who did very well in non-action comedy as well.
Having said that, donât be naive. Being unique doesnât guarantee results. There were other bodybuilders as well, who had the same traits as Arnoldâs. How many of them are superstars?
You have to be valuable as well.
Schwarzenegger had a charming personality. The camera loved him. He also had excellent people skills. These were his strengths. Combined with these qualities, the chances of making it big increased by a magnitude.
But nothing is guaranteed, and I cannot stress this enough. You can only increase your odds. The rest is chance.
Interesting Finds
What is a science and what is a pseudo-science? Itâs an incredibly tricky question to answer. Scientists sometimes operate on hunches rather than logic, they sometimes milk more from irrational obsession than rational argumentation, they happily speculate about unfalsifiable events and theories, they regularly change their theories to incorporate disagreements with empirical data rather than falsifying the original theory, indeed, sometimes they reject empirical results entirely, and they often object vigorously to the consensus of their colleagues. Kuhn, Popper, Lakatos, all had their shots at solving the demarcation problem, and yet there is no agreed-upon solution.
Imagine youâre a venture investor. You find a great company. You buy 16% of the company for $8m at $50m post-money valuation. Six months later, the company raises $100m at $500m. Things have gone very well. Your 8m has 10xed. Naturally, you ride an imaginary horse around the room, galloping with glee. Now you face an important strategic question: Do you invest your full pro-rata of $8m? Pro-rata is the right to invest more to maintain their percentage ownership. Venture firms reserve capital for these financings. If you invest an additional $8m to maintain your ownership, the investment multiple falls to 3.3x: 80m / (8m + 16m). Two-thirds of your dollars are invested at a much higher price. Which path do you pursue? Stay pat to maximize the investment multiple? Or double down to $16m and juice the holding value - the total value of the position? This is one of the core strategic questions venture firms debate.
What Iâm Reading
Stories fix us. Stories make us see. Stories remind us how we have failed at love, why we should try harder. Stories teach us when to leave. Stories remind us that we are not alone in our anguish â everyone is a little bit broken, and perhaps better for it.
â Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi, Loss
Tiny Thought
Capitalism is the never-ending cycle of creating newer problems while trying to solve older problems.
Before You GoâŚ
Thanks so much for reading! Send me ideas, questions, jokes. You can write to abhishek@coffeeandjunk.com, reply to this email, or use the comments.
Until next Sunday,
Abhishek đ