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Steffen wendt's avatar

❤️ so so sorry to hear this ! Thank you for sharing ! Its such a tough situation. Happened to my dad as well just after New Year’s Eve 2018. I was really stuck reliving the moment over and over until I came to the conclusion that I wanted to celebrate his life, not how he died.

Thanks again for sharing and my deepest condolences, Abhishek.

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Dimitri Litvin's avatar

My condolences, Abhishek.

Instead of offering platittitudes, I will share some personal experience. My grandfather passed away in the summer. He was 89 years old. He and my grandmother were married for over 60 years.

I try to focus on the life he had lived. Death is a part of life like the birth. There is no life without either. It is the natural way of things that sons (or daughters) are burying heir fathers. In fact it would be tragic if it were the other way around. I am also happy to say that after a few months, the good memories start to come back and the memories of illness fade away.

The way my grandmother is coping with the loss is different. It has been very difficult for her to see her husband who was a humorous and optimistic person, who was always the soul of the group, who always looked to offer joy and help outwards becoming preoccupied with illness, death, and himself in the last years of his life. My grandmother proved to have a defient relationship to illness and getting older.

She blames him for giving up too easily and not fighting on to take care of her some day. Mostly she avoids thinking about his death and puts on a pragmatic facade... I don't know if this is healthy but everyone grieves in their own way.

The only thing I can say is: Be there for your mother, whatever shape hers and your grief take.

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